Don't get close to anyone.

entertaining, decision, balance, stock (not stalk), lie, not a lie, conflict, nowhere. What can I say? I dig red.

I remembered a dream I had last night - which, as you may or may not know, is a rare occurrence for me.

It scared me.

"When are you just going to tell me that you love me?"

Today was a horrible day.

Everyone else was having a horrible day, and for some reason I was pretty skippy for most of today, but in retrospect, who was I kidding? I should've been moping along with everyone else. Because when I reflect on my day, I can find very few good things about it, and a lot of very bad things about it.

Today was a horrible day.

Love,
Mike

and when it rains, it pours.

i remember i saw you in a dream, before i left. i knew i was supposed to find you here.

and i saw you.

so who are you? do you need my help? do i need yours? i know i'm supposed to be a part of your life; how else do you explain that dream?

but who are you?

please see my blog. i need your opinion. call it frivolous, whatever.

YESSSSS

don't forget that i'm still alive! igetcoldeasily.blogspot.com!

do you think it'd be worth it to buy igetcoldeasily.com?

that i've truly, sincerely regretted coming here. i feel like i should've gone to UW. i mean i'm already in debt, why the hell not?


no, no, no, that's crazy talk. god brought me here for a reason. i just need to figure out what that reason is, right?

right?

and i already don't like two of them. especially my writing class. the professor is this old conservative lady who is still fighting the losing battle against computers. the kind of lady who's never seen a youtube video and believes that wikipedia is pure witchery. i'm actually considering starting a real blog, both out of spite and because it seems like the next logical thing to do. it's more mature than livejournal. who knows.

the people here are good, at least. it's just these classes, man. it feels like high school, except worse.

i'm disappointed i won't be in town for the fletch goodbye shows.


the museum of contemporary art is amazing! look up jeff koons.

i totally forgot about the faint and jaguar love tonight >:(

fuuuuuccckkkkk

none of the computer labs are open yet, and i'm getting a laptop in late september, so for now i use my phone for everything, and it's a pain.

it's beautiful here. i don't want to say it's perfect, but everything feels right. i love it.

and i miss everybody.

things to do before i leave las vegas:
-take a picture in front of the "welcome to las vegas" sign
-liberace museum
-elvis-o-rama (is that place still open?)
-big magic (or otherwise typically vegas) show. EDIT: i'd love to see Phantom of the Opera or LOVE
-adult superstore and/or strip club (optional: visiting one or both AFTER church)
-(probably not likely because of funding, but) every major attraction in every major casino - the gondolas at the venetian, the top of the eiffel tower at paris, the secret garden at the mirage, etc etc etc
-ride the deuce (the bus)

you know what? fuck you, man. just, fuck you. i hate you. fuck you.

i got my -10 vegas experience.

thanks alex :]

aside from liberation from responsibility, lately i've been feeling a kind of liberation from people, as well.

i feel like i don't have to be mike anymore. not that i want to be somebody else, or that i haven't been myself for all these years, but just, i don't feel restrained by any kind of social and/or moral obligations anymore.

i'm talking about a few people in specific.


how does it feel to know that i never meant anything to you? weird, let me tell you.

i was never there anyways. you proved that to me. i'm just a ghost.

i bought new pants today, and i ran into kayla tillman.


i find that with each passing day, i find more and more liberation in the fact that i'm leaving. i'd always joked about how i didn't care about anything i do here anymore since i'd be leaving, but i'm really starting to feel it, to live it out now. i don't think i care anymore. about much at all. it's kinda fun.

if any of you ever get diagnosed with a terminal illness, don't be one of those mopey hospital-goers who just sulks until they die. don't tell anybody, go out and live life how you want, doing what you want, and die happy. i imagine that's what this feels like. it's an incredible feeling.



you're sooo goddamn laughable.